Personal and Professional Balancing Act

Ms. Aziz is a high school chemistry teacher in rural Illinois with almost 20 years of teaching experience. In spring of 2020, she was teaching two advanced chemistry classes when her school announced that they would move to virtual instruction for two weeks. Ms. Aziz quickly rose to the challenge, learning new technologies and preparing the very best chemistry instruction she could. She was convinced that virtual instruction would only last two weeks, so she was shocked when the district moved to virtual school for the rest of the year. Ms. Aziz realized that she would need to figure out a substitute for the usual hands-on labs if she was going to get through the rest of her advanced chemistry topics. She first tried implementing labs that used common household materials, so that students could follow along at home. Unfortunately, the district was not pleased with this option due to safety concerns.

They cautioned against trying to have the kids do anything that involved science lessons at home that were hands on because, “What if they don’t have the right equipment” and if they did have the equipment, “What if they got hurt with it?” . . . I had brought goggles home with me and a lab coat, and I was making glue from milk. I thought, “Well, they all have milk at home. We could make this glue from milk. How cool is that?” And then I was cautioned, “But what if they burn themselves on the stove? And what if they — ?” Oh my gosh!

Ms. Aziz regrouped and implemented a different approach that addressed another problem she was facing—educating her own children.

I was expected still to be teaching for my students at high school, but I had four children at home that I was trying to help [with] their teaching. . . It was just a nightmare come true.

She decided to do the lab activities at home with her children, recording the activities as she and her children went through each step together. Then she shared the videos with her students. She was frustrated that this format did not allow for the in-the-moment adjustments she would usually make in response to her students’ needs. However, she knew that her students noticed and appreciated her efforts.

They told me over and over again, they could tell that I was trying really hard. . . . And many of the students told me, toward the end of that school year, that I was the only teacher still teaching them lessons. So many of the teachers had just given up. They realized, “I can’t do this, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m over my head. It’s not working well.” But I had many kids say, “You’re my only teacher still presenting lessons. Thank you for still presenting lessons to me.”

However, she reflected on how difficult it was to balance her work life with her family life at this time.

All day long, I was monitoring my own children’s learning and doing their stuff. And all afternoon and evening was working on my materials for school. So I went from teaching kids with my own children all day, and then [my husband would] get off work, and he’d start being with the kids, and then I could work on my lessons. So as a science teacher, it was very hard to find that balance between family and school. . . . It was really challenging for me as a mom of four little ones to be doing that. And challenging for my husband. My relationship with my husband? When did I even spend time with him? He was either parenting or I was parenting, or he was working and I was working. So, that was very challenging. But as a science teacher, just finding that balance, I think, might have been the hardest part between family and then my own work.

Just prior to the 2020–21 school year, the school’s anatomy and physiology teacher retired and asked Ms. Aziz to take over. Though she had never taught the subject nor studied it herself, Ms. Aziz accepted the challenge. She threw herself into learning the new material and taught this new class while continuing to teach her usual chemistry classes. In addition, she had to adjust both courses to suit a new hybrid teaching format in which small groups rotated between virtual and in-person instruction. Ms. Aziz once again drew on her creativity and implemented a virtual lab partner approach as a novel way of keeping students engaged whether they were at school or at home.

I was doing virtual lab partners. So one person would be in the class doing the lab, the other one would be at home, and they’d be participating with the other one through the Google Meet. . . . And their partner was interacting with them. And then the next day, the other kids would come to class and . . . pick up the lab.

Ms. Aziz felt this was the best way she could teach a hybrid class, and she worked tirelessly to make it happen. However, there were many moving pieces to consider, including content delivery and testing.

I need to think about how the kids at home are doing this lesson, but I’m also teaching kids in front of me. . . . Okay, what about test day? I’m not having them do an online test because the kids hate that. In addition, how do I monitor that? The test day, half the kids are in class, so then these kids take the test this day. The next day kids, what are they doing the opposite day? So trying to figure out how this all works together so that they’re all still learning the same stuff, the same amount of stuff, but learning it in a different way on a different day.

When her district returned to in-person learning for the 2021–22 school year, Ms. Aziz agreed that it was the best thing for the students. She was eager to assess her students informally through their body language and expressions, as she did pre-pandemic.

However, she also kept doing some things she learned during the pandemic, recognizing the value they added even when teaching in person.

Not every kid can come to those after-school [test review] sessions, but I can video it, and I can record it. And so now, I have maybe 10 kids in my class at my review, but the rest of the kids, when they get home from their sports or their job or whatever, they go home, and they watch the video from the review. . . . It definitely enables the kids who are in a lot of activities, or maybe at home sick, to be able to participate a lot more, . . . and it’s giving them more opportunities to get help when they need it, because they can watch these videos whenever they want to.

While Ms. Aziz was happy to see her students in person, COVID was a threat she took seriously, especially because her husband was at high risk for complications. She took every precaution she could and encouraged others at her school to do likewise by providing simple explanations of the science behind methods of preventing transmission and vaccines. However, she was also cognizant of the ways in which transmission measures, particularly masks, interfered with student learning.

What if one of the students gives it to me and then I bring it home to my family and I kill my husband? . . . I thought the kids should wear masks, and I thought the teacher should, but I did know we were missing things by wearing masks. . . . In the spring, it was like, “Okay, we’re not going to wear masks anymore, because the kids don’t have to wear them.” And then you’re frightened as a teacher. . . . So now I’m wearing the N95 mask every day to keep myself safe, to make sure I don’t get COVID to bring home to my family. . . . So I was still wearing them, and I had this conversation with the kids saying, “Listen, I think there’s value to you seeing my face. So when I’m up at the front of the room, I will take my mask off. But when I’m back by you, I will always have the mask on. Okay?” So that there’s a nice balance.

Reflecting on her overall experience teaching during the pandemic, Ms. Aziz recalls how hard she worked to make her students’ lives and her family’s lives the best they could be. She faced challenge after challenge with creativity and persistence, and clearly saw the benefits of her efforts. However, she also expressed disappointment with teachers who did not put students’ wellbeing on equal footing with their own.

These teachers that didn’t do a good job, they made the rest of us look bad. I think that parents can tell when the kids are just doing a project for the whole rest of the year, and they can also tell when a teacher is really trying hard. So it gave some of us teachers a bad name.

But overall, Ms. Aziz believes that most teachers did the best they could to meet the needs of their students during these very challenging times.

I want people to know that the majority of us were working behind the scenes trying our hardest to do our best for kids. And with our own children at home, we were all trying to do our best. And that the majority of people really care about kids, and we’re doing our best.